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| I`ve finally moved on.
I`m happier now.......
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| I feel as if i`m all alone
I feel no one is around to hear my silent screams
I `m all alone, and noone cares. I`ve been pushed off a cliff, and now i`m falling into a dark hole. Just falling staring back up waiting for someone to fall with me. But noone really cares. It`s kind of scary being all alone. All i have is myself now. That is all i have to listen to is myself. Lonliness is setting in......... I`ve done nothing wrong to anyone i swear on my life. I have been a good friend, i`ve been doing good things, i`ve been changing. WHY IS IT NOT ENOUGH! IT`S NEVER ENOUGH FOR ANYONE WHAT THE FUCK I`VE CHANGED GOOD WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT FROM ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!??????????????? why...me what did i ever do? Probably noone is going to read this
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| I`m growing more miserable as the summer continues on. My life is becoming a slow hell. My whole family is coming down on me. I feel as if i`m being pushed under water and not being able to breathe. It`s like i`m so insignificant to them. My input is of no value and i cannot run to a friends house for the day. I feel as if the life is being slowly dragged out of me. My soul is crushed. Everytime i try to fight back i end up loosing more. And when i dont fight back they end up taking more of me. I dont know what i should do. I spend my nights crying myself to sleep in this hell. I spend my days laughing through my tears keeping my optimism. There is nothing left of me they`ve taken it all away.... i`m sick of fighting i`m still fighting this battle but if i dont fight they take my soul if i do fight i end up loosing....... This road is a dead end with no return. I feel as if maybe the only way out is to sacrifice myself. My soul yearns to be free. I yearn to be free and have a normal peaceful life. Not even my best friend will return my call i left on her answering machine. I was crying while i recorded that message. Have i become unimportant. Has the world moved on without me and left me to die. I think so..... but i tell myself i am not weak. I am strong..... half of me is moving with the crowed the other half of me is loosing myself. But maybe... i need support....i`ll admit it i need something to help me stand. I`ve been defending myself ever since i was 4 years old. The scars have reopened and grown deeper. I`ve been alone in this battle. I just wish i had someone next to me fighting with me. I want to break free. I feel as if i`m locked in a dark cell, just sitting there bleeding, waiting for what happens next. But i will not loose! I`m stronger than that i know it! Even the thought of loosing disgusts me. I`m a strong person and i`ve been left here alone to fight. I`ve been left alone here to fight for a reason. Only the people who watch over me know why. Maybe my soul is growing stronger, but in effect of that i may feel as if i`m getting weaker. I know i can handle anything. Maybe i fight alone becuase i`m growing stronger and maybe life is preparing me for something big ahead of me. Something that no person can handle....something that only i can take head on..... but i wont know until i go on in life. The more i grow cold inside, the more i become stronger and wiser. But i do not want to let go of my friends and some of my family. I still have a little warmth inside of me and i still love them all even tho they have deserted me. Forgive and forget..... That is my policy and maybe in the future i will be important to someone, or even the world. There is a reason for why everything happens. But i`ve been put through this hell it`s like something big and significant is going to happen to me and this is the training..... | | |
| ¢¾I just might be shutting down the site. Yeah...SHUTING IT DOWN! i dunno i`m gettin bored of xanga. Well gotta go find something to do. Hey does anyone know the deal about elfinlied? If so leave a comment i`m really interested in it! It`s the first anime i`m actually interested in.
Here are some lyrics
¢¾Missing by Evanescence
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Please, please forgive me,
But I won¡¯t be home again.
Maybe someday you¡¯ll have woke up,
And, barely conscious, you¡¯ll say to no one:
"isn¡¯t something missing? "
You won¡¯t cry for my absence, I know -
You forgot me long ago.
Am I that unimportant...?
Am I so insignificant...?
Isn¡¯t something missing?
Isn¡¯t someone missing me?
[chorus]
Even though I¡¯d be sacrificed,
You won¡¯t try for me, not now.
Though I¡¯d die to know you love me,
I¡¯m all alone.
Isn¡¯t someone missing me?
Please, please forgive me,
But I won¡¯t be home again.
I know what you do to yourself,
Shudder deep and cry out:
"isn¡¯t something missing?
Isn¡¯t someone missing me? "
[chorus]
And if I bleed, I¡¯ll bleed,
Knowing you don¡¯t care.
And if I sleep just to dream of you
And wake without you there,
Isn¡¯t something missing?
Isn¡¯t something...
[chorus] | | | |
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